Cultivating Gratitude

Finding HopeHealthy LivingManaging AnxietySelf CareStress Relief
Written By Resolutions Therapy Practice
Cultivating Gratitude, Resolutions Therapy Practice blog post, showing plant

There’s a question that artists, therapists, and nearly every human being has been begging to know the answer to: How do we find things that don’t suck?

Julie Andrews grappled with the issue, naming her joy’s top hits in The Sound of Music. “I simply remember my favorite things and then I don’t feel so bad.”

Is it really that easy? Research suggests that gratitude practices can improve our wellbeing across various dimensions, ranging from life satisfaction (Portocarrero, et. al.,, 2020) to cardiovascular health (Cousin et al., 2020). In therapy, much of the discussions focus on long-term goals, what we are doing to make changes, and the barriers that stand in our way.

Equally important, however, is identifying what is already going well… or at the very least, what doesn’t suck.

Why Gratitude Matters

Our brains are wired for survival. We adapt to an ever-changing world by remembering past painful events and scanning for threats. Recognizing patterns helps keep us safe, but it can also tilt our attention disproportionately towards danger. Gratitude does not eliminate our awareness of risk or prevent us from detecting it, but it does widen our view to include the other truths of life. Daily experiences may elicit fear, sadness, and frustration along with joy, connection, and glimmers of hope. By engaging with appreciation for our resources and support we can help balance our attention

Research shows that gratitude not only uplifts mood but also strengthens relationships, reduces stress, and even improves physical health outcomes (Cousin et al., 2020; Portocarrero et al., 2020). Like exercising a muscle, practicing gratitude builds new neural pathways, training our minds to notice and hold pleasant experiences with as much weight as uncomfortable ones.

Some of my recurring sources of gratitude include the plants in my office that push out new leaves regularly, my dogs’ excitement when I return home after a long day or even a quick trip to the mailbox, and the rare but exciting moment of hitting a green light on my way to work. Some people may find it difficult to identify sources of gratitude when they are overburdened with responsibilities, struggling with their mental health, or feeling exhausted. Thankfully, the practice can be as simple and adaptive as we need it to be.

The late poet Andrea Gibson spoke about the wild conundrum of identifying these glimmers in a dark time, naming silver linings such as, “...love potions that don’t blow up, neighbors who aren’t drummers, belly flops on purpose...”

There may be days when our gratitude lists are a mile long and overflowing. During harder times, we may only come up with thankfulness that our neighbors aren’t drummers. Identifying even one item a day has the potential to shift our focus toward the pleasant parts of existence.

How To Build A Gratitude Practice

Starting to build gratitude can feel daunting and we may not know where to start. When beginning any new practice, baby steps are more than welcome. If the process feels overwhelming at first here are a few pointers to help you begin:

  1. Start small. Each day, write down one thing that doesn’t suck. Again, this does not have to be extravagant. You can choose anything that comes to mind.

  2. Pair this practice with your existing routines. Anchor your reflection to something you already do daily to provide recurring reminders. If each morning you start with a cup of coffee, you can reflect while pouring your creamer. If every evening you walk your dog, you can think through your day while putting their leash on. Finding a time of day that is consistent and reliable can help us incorporate this into the daily rhythm of our life rather than creating another task on your to-do list.

  3. Consider your capacity. Are you a morning person or night owl? Do you want to try this out when you are feeling most grounded or do we need to incorporate this into a time of the day when you need a pick me up? Tailoring this to the goals you identify for yourself allows you to get the best benefit from this new activity.

  4. Incorporate all your senses. If you are struggling to come up with something, pay attention to pleasant sensations you may have experienced through sight, sound, smell, taste, and touch. Noticing our sensory experiences is one of the ways we can focus on what feels pleasant and take care of our needs.

  5. Get creative. If writing and maintaining a list starts to feel boring or if you want to express your gratitude in other ways, you can try alternative expressive forms. Doodling an image of something you enjoyed, taking photos, or checking in with a loved one about your highs of the day may feel more exciting.

  6. Revisit your list. On harder days, reminders of the good things woven into your life can bring them back into focus. Don’t be afraid to revisit things you’ve identified as points of gratitude before. It’s okay if you are thankful for the same thing multiple times. Seeing which items are recurring on these lists helps provide insight into the resources you can continue to strengthen and leverage as support.

We can grant ourselves permission to find appreciation in mundane parts of our days; it didn’t rain today, I remembered my deodorant, or I left the house less than ten minutes late. Gratitude does not erase hardship, trauma, or stress. It does not ask us to deny our struggles. Those parts of our lives deserve attention too. Instead, practicing gratitude expands our capacity to recognize that alongside the pain there are moments of delight, connection, and relief. Cultivating a gratitude practice can help you foster and recognize your resilience even in the most difficult seasons of life.

Ready to transform your perspective and build lasting resilience? Contact Resolutions Therapy Practice today to learn how our experienced therapists can help you develop personalized strategies for mental wellness and personal growth.

Written by, Madison Miller, CSW

Madison’s practice and values are aligned with anti-oppression and trauma-informed frameworks and informed by queer and feminist theory. Madison incorporates evidence-based practices including Internal Family Systems (IFS) and Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR) to assist clients in their healing. Madison is committed to creating space for you to find the relief and support you deserve. Learn more, and schedule an appointment.

References

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